Repeating choices, repeating patterns
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."
Albert Einstein
An easy way to avoid obtaining the same results is actually (surprise!) acting differently. To behave differently with oneself and with others. And that implies, especially this:
Making a different choice. A small one, an achievable one, towards the life you really want.
Making a different choice today will lead you to live a different life tomorrow.
For example, choosing a different Other. A common complaint for this could be:
‘Why do I always fall for married men?’
‘Why do I always fall for people who do not treat me well, people who are unfaithful, etc.’
Sometimes we repeat the choice because we are repeatedly in the same place. Sometimes we can change the place but we do not change the pattern.
Einstein’s quote could actually be followed by another one of his quotes:
‘The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.’
This is why it is so important to identify our unconscious pattern and work on that.
Even though they say that ‘All roads lead to Rome’, in my opinion, this could only be achieved through psychoanalysis. A lot, and yes a LOT, of psychological theories and different types of therapy will promise you that if you do X Y Z, your problem will be solved.
They promise you that in just 10 sessions your difficulties will be banished and there’ll be a problem from the past.
Well, let me tell you, marketing hurts when used unethically.
Just as an example, do you think that one behaviour/routine/pattern/habit that you have used for, let’s say, 30 years can be undone in just 10 sessions?
No, therapists are not magicians. Plus, good results are not to be attributed to just the therapist or the type of therapy but as well to the involvement (here we go again with self-responsibility), willingness and internal resources of the client.
Sometimes, you can avoid that thing from repeating. Meaning, the symptoms that caused you distress (anxiety, phobia, stress, sadness, etc.). Yes, temporarily, thanks to those 10 sessions. But if you don't go to the root of the problem and extract it, the weed will always keep on growing in different patches of your garden (aka different areas of your life).
Is there any pattern that hurts you that you are actually aware of?
Or maybe, you are at a place in which you can identify a problem, but have no idea where it comes from or the cause of it.
This is a great place for you to start, so don’t get discouraged just because you can’t just yet comprehend the origin of the problem. You are at the starting line, you are aware of something that doesn't work, we’ll get to the rest later.
The worst place to be is the one in which you suffer and you are not aware of it at all. That's when you need external help because you can’t see properly. There's only suffering but no awareness.
A healthy awareness of yourself and your life situation will give you the right perspective to start making better choices.
Love,
Noemi
PS: Another good place to start is here.